Am I “convincing” myself to be lesbian?

Second post here. I’m pretty confused about myself. I’m 13. I told myself I would just relax and just watch my feelings but it is so hard not knowing what you are. I haven’t said anything to anyone officially and I’m not sure I’m lesbian or even bi. I feel like I’m just “faking” it or making myself think I like women. I ask myself, would I be questioning if I never found out what a lesbian was? If I never saw positive videos of gay couples online? Am I deluding myself to be attracted to girls just because I want to be? I’ve never had a crush on a girl, but then again I’m not sure if my previous crushes on boys were actually real or I just liked attention and they were funny. I’ve had probably two crushes in my life and they are all over 2 years old. I never thought I would be lesbian or even thought about liking females when I was younger except for the fact I used to like to look at boobs on lingerie packages 😭. Anyways I feel like I’m forcing whatever attraction I might have to girls just because I saw happy lesbians online or I want to be “special”.