Some context because I don't know if this is a thing in other countries: here, when you finish a degree, you usually have an "examination" where tutors decide and oficially declare that you're ready to obtain the actual degree. Honestly I don't think it's a real examination a lot the times, just an event where you are recognized as a professional, you get closure and share it with your loved ones.

Well, I just submitted the documents to get a date for mine. It was a LONG, dull, hard process for me, not only getting the thesis done, but doing all the damn payments and soul-killing bureaucracy. It was also way slower than my tutors and parents wanted it to be, as I have been told repeatedly. 

It's supposed to be a great milestone, but I don't feel excited, accomplished or proud. I know my tutors are tired of me and their commentary it's going to bee awkward af. I don't want to buy them the customary "thank you" gifts. I don't want to spend another small fortune to please the people who wanted to see me do this way more than myself. I don't want to invite my fair-weather friends. I don't want to smile and pretend this degree will actually do anything for my career or my job prospects. I'm also honestly just bad at being the center of attention in general. I just want this to be done.

Pictured above, reheated leftovers of the pork in plum sauce that I enjoyed more than the rest of this whole thing.

I don't want anyone in my thesis defense