What to do after my (23F) boyfriend (23M) has been accused of rape?

Hi everyone, I’m on a throw away account.

A few days ago, I (23F) found out the man I’ve been dating for the last year and a half (23M) has been accused of rape.

Allegedly, in July of 2024, a few months before I met him, my boyfriend met a girl at a college bar and after they each had a few drinks but nothing crazy, she gave him her number and ubered with him back to her place.

There, they started kissing and it eventually ended in intercourse. He slept over at her place that night, and in the morning, she mentioned to him that she had a boyfriend and he needed to leave her apartment. He obliged, and later texted her to see how she was doing but never got a response.

My boyfriend said he had almost forgotten about this incident entirely, until a few weeks ago when he got a call from a detective asking him to come in and submit a DNA sample for a rape investigation from 2024.

Since then, he’s acquired a lawyer who seems to think that she used the claim of sexual assault to justify her cheating on her partner. But, because she had a rape kit preformed and there is DNA evidence, outcomes aren’t necessarily looking good. His lawyer also seemingly believes that her boyfriend was the one to convince her to get the rape kit and report the encounter to the police as well.

I’ve never had any inclination that my boyfriend would be the type of person to commit a crime like this. He’s always been super respectful during our encounters, and I have always felt safe with him in that way. There have been times I have asked him to stop during sex and he always does, no questions asked. There have been times where things start getting a little heated, and i’ve communicated that I didn’t want to have sex with him and he always listens immediately.

However, I, myself have been a victim of a sexual assault where I was not believed. It’s always been a super firm rule I’ve had for myself to believe victims and survivors first. I also understand that just because he’s gentle with me, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s been that way with everyone else. In this instance, I just don’t know what to do.

My boyfriend has made it clear that if I end our relationship, he would understand. However, I have never seen him so emotionally wrecked over anything like he is with this. We were also in the early stages of talking about moving in together and getting engaged.

He was raised by a single mom, and has a little sister whom he would give the absolute world to. I’ve seen the way he talks about other men with accusations, and the way he talks about women, and I can’t imagine him being a violent criminal like this.

Am I being completely naive? What are the odds this situation blows over or charges get dropped? Could she rescind her statements and decide not to press charges now? I don’t know anything about the legal process of something like this so any insight would be greatly appreciated.