Thank you for your help

I was not raised Christian. I believe in a god but not sure about all the details. I have asked god to come into my life and heart if it is what he wants. I want to know him and be good. I don't know if that level of faith is good enough, if I am deserving enough. I've told God that I would gladly take someone else's cancer, giving them my time, if I am to be spared hell. But I suppose god doesn't do deals. . I don't pray for great things, only freedom from complete loss, abandonment, and punishment.

I don't know how to approach this. I'm grateful for those who have prayed for me despite my lack of total faith Pray for me to find my way and I'd be grateful for any advice on what I can do about my lack of full faith.

is wanting faith enough?

Is trying enough?

What can I do besides put it out there and listen?