Executives keep talking negatively about me but act like I am doing great

Mostly just need to rant about my current job and this mess that was created by asking for a raise. And if anyone has advice on how to make it through the day when it feels like everyone is conspiring against you, I am all ears.

TL;DR Leadership seems to be creating a negative narrative about me after asking for a raise and expressing concerns about workload. How do I stay sane while looking for new opportunities?

The company has had some org changes and I was told I would be taking on supporting an additional executive. I asked for a raise since this will be more work. Instead of negotiating, I was told that the additional workload is in scope and that there isn't any money for raises. But others who are not in the EA role were given raises because they would be getting more direct reports. To add insult to injury, I was the one who had to enter the pay raises for others.

I will admit, I cannot hide how I feel from my face. So the day after I was told I wouldn't get a raise I worked from a different floor so I could stew in my sadness and still get work done. I didn't have the best attitude so I removed myself so as not to bring everyone else down. I think this is where people got upset and started spinning their negative narrative about me.

At the behest of my current executives and some peers, I talked to HR to share my concerns about workload and burnout. That was a mistake. I was gaslit by HR and told to find a new role elsewhere in the company. I shared this with my executives and told them that I don't feel valued and I was looking for a new role.

I found a new EA role in the company on a different team. Now everyone (Lead EA, Execs and their bosses) are freaking out and they keep telling me I am so valued and needed. And that if I take this new role it will hinder my development. They went so far as to imply they will purposely not give a good recommendation to the hiring manager.

Now I find out that they are also gossiping about me to my peers and amongst themselves saying I have a bad attitude and need to react better. The newest Exec I will support said my reaction to them saying they were excited to work with me was "muted." Mind you this interaction they are referencing happened at 6am while I was working on a last minute lunch order for later that day.

My Execs and lead EA keep telling me how they want the best for me, value and appreciate me, and will support me, but then turn around and talk about me negatively. Never giving me any kind of feedback on my attitude they seem to dislike so much. And today I found out I won't be getting an interview for the role I applied for. So I'm guessing they really did blacklist me internally.

I'm so exhausted by all this two sidedness. I am actively looking for a new role outside of this company, but I don't know how to pretend like everything is ok when it's very much not.

How do you keep it together when you are mentally done with the job?