Paxil withdrawals making me suicidal

Hi all I am putting a post here because I recently tried to come off Paxil. Just for some background I was taking a cocktail of meds, about 4 to be exact. I was finally ready to come off and I ended up successfully coming completely off 2 of the meds. My plan was to be on these other 2 meds for another year but my family convinced me to try and get off my meds completely. I didn't know the Paxil withdrawals would be so awful. I am on 20mgs and I went down to 15mgs for a month then a week later I went down to 10mgs. It was a terrible idea and after 6 days I started to have very alarming suicidal thoughts. It was so scary, I went right back up to 20mgs. I thought I would be back to normal now but I am having awful panic attacks, thoughts of hurting others and myself. I just want to cry, I have felt at times that I really do want to take my life. I keep telling myself it's the withdrawals but I am so scared that I will harm myself somehow. I wasn't feeling suicidal anymore for quite some time so being like this again is causing me so much pain.