[F4M] 34 FL / Anywhere - Will you be my gardener? Seeking a man who finds fulfillment in watering a creative soul so she can bloom

Who I am:

I'm the sort of person who loves people but also fears them. Who cares deeply. Who loves to love. 

I love long walks on the beach, to feel the expanse of the world. Who loves sunrise but struggles to sleep before it.

I have a rich internal world full of stories and adventure. I problem solve and create. I have ideas about systems and programs. Of novels and paintings. 

But I aso fear the finishing of things. The unknown. I learned long ago that the unknown was scary and the furture is always unknown. I'm trying to unlearn this.

I feel my best in nature. Not in the exertion of long cilmbs but in the observation of the life within it and all around us. Even in the most still places there is so much going on. You only need to look and listen.

I tend to prefer quiet over loud. Still over busy. I can enter those places, I just don't prefer them.

I enjoy a rainy day and a good book. 

I love to look at art and learn new things. 

I have several instruments that I don't play and still I want more. 

I love animals. 

My ideal living arrangement would be an estate in england with land to walk, horses to ride, dogs to play with and a man to call my own. 

I say live and let live. Life is too short for anything else.

What I am looking for:

I'm a bud in need of some tender loving care to bloom into a beautiful rose. The right soil. The best sunlight. A careful hand.

Will you be my gardener?

If you love to give, to feel useful, to feel helpful then I need you. 

I want to grow, to change, to become the person I know I can be, but I need help. I can do it on my own, I know I can, but I'm just so tired. 

I am a creative soul, a nurturer. I care too much sometimes. I'm gentle, and soft. I've had to prove time and time again just how strong I am in this world. I'm tired. I want to rest. 

My cup is empty and it was such a big cup. I came across too many people who just wanted to take and I had plenty to give. Until there was nothing to.

I'm rebuilding myself and I want to fill my cup again. I would love to find someone who wants to fill it. Who will fill it up before they take a sip.

And in that filling, devotion happens. The giving to me becomes a giving to you. Of time, attention and love. 

Devotion begetting devotion.

I'm just looking for peace. I'm just looking for some way to be in a world that only seems to reward performance. 

I want to write. I want to paint. I want to wake up and just go to the beach without the weight of the world crushing down on me. 

I want to feel safe with someone. To be held by someone. To feel like they are the shelter I could weather any storm. 

I want to stay soft. I want to stay gentle. I want to be loving and caring and nurturing. 

To be silly and absurd. 

I need someone to water me. I need someone to help me grow. Someone who sees the softness and wants to keep it. Who sees the gentleness and wants to protect it.

If you resonate with this, tell me why. I'm listening.