I'm really hurting so much right now and I wish I had someone to hug me for a very long time

i don't really go out to socialize, and even though I have tried recently with book clubs and tabletop groups, I could never connect with anyone. but even if i made friends from those groups, they wouldn't be close to me, they could never hold space for all of my suffering and traumatic experiences.

i just want someone I felt safe opening up to. my therapist won't hug me, and it just makes me feel like she doesn't actually give a shit about me at all.

so many online people have left my life recently. ghosting, burnt bridges, exclusion. I'm really sensitive to rejection, so every time someone I cared about left me, it broke my heart.

i can never be desensitized to this. i can't toughen up because i am an inherently emotionally sensitive girl, and there is nothing wrong with that. but society constantly treats me as if there IS something wrong with me, that I'm too much.

it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts