Hate myself

After a big split I was given a freebie of 7 since I would use leaf sometimes and that was it. 2 years later I've moved in with grandpa to help him manuever since he's old but the time here I was supposed to be saving since I work,

I have spent every paycheck besides food and shit on this garbage. I'm on around 300-500mg a day and this has to stop. I've kicked h before years ago idk why this is such an issue for me. I have like 8 Suboxone bupe left from when I tried to get off last year and saved for next time. Is using leaf or an extract that isn't pure 7 but more of a mix of not a good way to start l? should I switch to Mit pills at the same Mg and go from there and taper? idfk