I never thought it would be me

Looking back in it all, the way I’ve been treated is insane, it’s like something from a horror movie, and I can’t believe they still tried to DARVO themselves in the end and act like I’m the bad one after everything they’ve done to me

I never thought I’d be one of those ppl who were so severely abused, I never thought I’d let that happen to myself, but manipulation works a lot better than I thought it would on me, using my love for them as a weapon was also something I wasn’t expecting to happen, there’s so many forms of abuse I didn’t realize was a thing until I was already trapped by it

I didn’t even no it was possible for humans to be so cruel, it felt like a story of someone evil that you hear about but never experienced, like something so far away you didn’t feel it was real until it happened to you, I’ll never be the same, my mind has been shattered, I know that love will forever be tainted for me

All my life I’ve been abused, first by my family, and I thought it couldn’t get worse than that, but it did, it got so much worse, unimaginably worse, and now I’m left picking up the pieces of someone who absolutely destroyed me and then got upset when I reacted in unhealthy ways because of that, only a monster acts that way towards someone they’ve hurt so much, that’s just what I have to accept at this point, I was ruined by a monster, and maybe not everyone out there is a monster, maybe some ppl can love me and accept accountability, and not beat down the person already laying in a puddle on the ground, maybe good ppl are out there, I’m just scared I’ll find another monster hiding, another wolf in sheep’s clothing, another person incapable of love and self reflection, and empathy that isn’t only used to gain something from someone