Just sharing a recent incident

Hope you all are doing well.

I recently started with the AM process and came across a match very different than any others.

The girl hails from a nearby village. She has done well for herself, careerwise. Apart from being socially sharp and outgoing despite staying in a conservative setting most of her life, she is resourceful, caring and really spiritual. We are really opposite, personality-wise, career-clarity wise, spiritualty wise and in a whole lot of other ways.

But thats what seemed really attractive about her. I praised her multiple times, gifted her a "tree-of-life" painting because thats what she seemed to me.

First two months till the "chota roka" we didnt talk much, cause I usually dont. Then we started texting here and there, then we met a couple times. Then the texting increased to every five minutes. But she started saying and doing things which felt really wrong. Despite pointing those out to her, she didn't show any willingness to change or at least reconsider and would get angry instead. She apprently said she loved me just after a month or so, and was blunt when I didnt reply back (I dont even remember hearing it).

Having said no a week back, her and her family's behaviour has been worse. They are asking us to pay for every event that happened on either side so far. And she has been unnecessarily rude despite me trying to explain my decision to her multiple times. Moreover she has made it her own personal mission to malign my mom for some reason.

I get that she is a strong independent woman who has sacrificed a lot to be where she is today and she is single-minded about where she is going. But even such women do have a tender side, and me as a potential-husband, craved for that tender side for months and she wouldnt. I asked her for patience and she couldn't ever provide that.

I am trying to make peace with it, trying to understand that maybe being nurturing and caring is not natural for her. But it hurts. And she has aired out in public a lot of things I had disclosed to her about me, things that not even my parents or my close friends are privy to.

My parents have asked me many a times to move on and be happy that I avoided a "wrong one". But I want closure for some reason, and I still want to reach out to her. I really thought we could be good together and grow together.

My only lesson for me and people like me out there, is try to have hard conversations upfront. I am not saying deliberately give rise to conflict, but literally anyone can do sweet talk and that never indicates how the future is going to be.

Good luck.