Hi everyone, this is my first spread I've done without my friend who was well practised with tarot.

I was thinking about my 30th year and what might be in store, I have hopes to live in a more sustainable way and hopefully build more foundations for longevity for the future. I feel a lot of pressure with family, my work environment and the political climate at the moment- all of these give me anxiety and fear. In my 29th year I'd say my strengths were in my close friendships, forming two close ones, being more honest and feeling a lot better with making movements towards accepting my identity. The last 6 months specifically I've been recovering from gender affirming surgery and I'm yearning for change in work/relationship/home environment, and feel like I have the energy to do so. I went on no dates or had any romantic interactions in my 29th year after having a break up shortly before, I feel more open to the idea of this but it doesn't feel like a massive focus for me.

Any interpretations on this spread very welcomed please

My own interpretation

Queen of wands crossed with queen of cups

I'm finding my feet and coming into my own identity more, but I feel challenged or compromised by other people's perspectives. A desire to stop acting like I'm okay when I'm not, and to be able to express myself authentically.

I have a couple of close relationships (mum, close friend) where I've taken a kind of caretaker role which can burn me out if I don't manage it carefully, I think that might be evident in the cross?

Six of pentacles

Reliability? Formative caretaking dynamics with my mum and my dad being ill when I was younger, and how that's played out 

Page of pentacles

Slow building, long term development, feels like this is maybe related to my gender transition

Five of swords

Conflict :( some kind of clash or disruption or change. I was worried about this card and googled haha and it said 'the healthiest expression of drawing this card is I can survive disaproval'

Knight of pentacles

Everything would be fine and stable if nothing changed, but also in a stuck or cautious way

Page of wands

Hopeful, full of dreams and intentions, maybe capable but under confident 

Reversed sun

Striving for joy but with some kind of hindrance or slowly from healing and reconciling with the past

Reversed six of wands

Fear of failure or not living life to the fullest

Reversed seven of cups

Having more realistic dreams, being more discerning and commitment 

Thank you for reading

30th birthday Celtic cross