Parents wont let me visit my bf

I am a 21 year old recently first gen college graduate. I have been with my boyfriend (white) since freshman year of college. For years, he's been asking me to visit him in California but I always put it off since I know how my parents will react. I finally got the balls to ask my parents and it did not end well. My mom called my boyfriend and was disappointed in his ig "passive-aggressive" tone. My mom explained that it doesn't look good for traditional conservative Filipino families when a daughter sleeps at a man's house. I wasn't even going to stay in the same bedroom as my boyfriend. This is now jeopardizing my relationship with my boyfriend and my family. All throughout college they were very strict such as giving me curfews, not allowing me to go out at night, or experiencing things other people have or making me feel guilty for experiencing things. My parents say I can do whatever I want just make sure I don't come home as a source of fear mongering. I don't know what to do—I feel like I have to choose my family or my bf.