My husband is a top-tier engineer but can not find the milk if it is behind the orange juice

I am convinced that my husband has some kind of specific hardware limitation when it comes to object detection. It is not even funny at this point. Last night I was finally sitting down to finish some work and he asks me where the soy sauce is. I told him it is on the second shelf of the door in the fridge. He goes there, opens the door, stares for thirty seconds, and says we are out. I had to physically stand up, walk to the kitchen, and point at the bottle that was literally touching his hand. It is like if an object is not in the center of his vision with a bright neon sign it just does not exist in his reality.

This happens daily and it is absolutely draining my system resources. I feel like an unpaid external hard drive that he uses because he is too lazy to index his own surroundings. It does not matter if it is his keys, the mail, or the literal child. If it is moved two inches from its usual spot he loses the ability to process it. I used to think it was a joke or some kind of weaponized incompetence but now I think his brain just shuts down when he has to look for something for more than five seconds. It is like his processor overheats and just sends an error message instead of actually looking.

The worst part is the constant interruptions. I can be deep in a focus block and he will pop his head in to ask where his blue hoodie is. It is on the hook. The same hook it has been on for three years. Every time he does this it takes me twenty minutes to get back into what I was doing. He does not get that being the household search engine is a full time job that I never applied for. It is not just about the physical act of finding things. It is the mental energy of knowing where every single item in this house is at all times because I know the system will crash if I dont keep track of it.

Maybe I should start charging a subscription fee for my search services. At least then I would get something out of this constant pining for items that are right under his nose. Yesterday he spent ten minutes looking for his phone while he was holding it to use the flashlight. I just watched him do it for a while before saying anything. Honestly i think if I ever decided to hide from him I could just stand behind a slightly larger than average plant and I would be invisible forever. The man realy needs a firmware update for his eyes.