I don't know what to do

Hey guys I'm 24

I lost my mother 9 years back she had cancer,

She was already battling it for 2 years

We were in a city and had to shift for operation but my father and mother went and i stayed in that city alone at age 14 for 6 months

Then i also shifted as soon as i got into 10th grade my moms surgery was done and she was doing chemo

She got discharged and we were staying at my uncles(father) house

My mothers brothers came to visit her and then one misfortune happened they drank alcohol at my uncles house causing a huge scene

She believed in god and she said in the name of god that act is prohibited so don't stay at thier home

As a result my aunt, kicked us out and we stayed in another house(she said god doesn'tpermit it), where my father was busy in office me in school and my mother unfortunately being weakend due to her treatment fell and got injured

She was again admitted and a few operations were done and she could not make it.

Even tho all that happened my uncle and aunt never came to see me because my maternal uncle drank liquor

I stayed alone till my schooling was done

Went to college and then covid happened in 2nd year

I was enjoying my time in college but that sudden lock down made me think about too many things

As i stopped believing in god death seemed to scary to me,(i used to think day and night about whatt comes afterr death in non spiritual/religious literaturee)

After a few months the lock down eased but my college only operated virtually (stayed alone for another 2 years)

I decided to prepare for mbaa got into that and got addicted to weed cause i could not cope

I made a few friends in MBA, but a girl put fake sexual harassment case on me. Camera proved nothing happened

But girls there started calling me rapist, made me go even more in weed

Now after mba i am at my home and now we have to forcefully keep my uncle and aunt here and which irritates the fuck out of me

My aunt forces me to call her mum.

I feel daily that i will have a outburst i don't know what to do