AIO at my roommate for decorating with my decoration?
This is a little older story but i need some help. A little back story. I (19 F) moved in with my roommate (19 F) (we’ll call her feefee) for college. This was both our second year at college. The year prior she had moved in to our apartment style dorms during the second semester. She was in the second bedroom of the apartment. This layout had two bedrooms with three people in each room with a living room and half kitchen. Because of the layout and schedules we didn’t interact much except when leaving the apartment. We as well as a third person (one of her roommates) decided to dorm together this year. Everything seemed fine, we had talked a little about how we wanted to decorate each other’s spaces. I specifically brought this up when talking about our dorm because I was planning on doing a gallery wall in my area and wanted to make sure they were both okay with this. They loved the idea.
In this apartment, we shared a bedroom big enough to have our beds unbunked. In order for this to be possible my bed had to block the bathroom door (bathroom had two doors one in the hallway and one leading to the bedroom). The issue with this was that one desk had to be left out of the room and needed to be in the living room due to a lack of space. I offered to have my desk be outside the bedroom as I didn’t really mind. Overall our set up worked great.
When moving in, I didn’t immediately begin decorating my area because I still wanted to print pictures and prints for my gallery wall. My roommates had decorated their spaces, which is their desk area as well as the wall space by their bed. Our living room and bedroom also didn’t have overhead lighting, just one floor lamp in each. My roommates decided that it was better if they were both in the living room/kitchen as they didn’t fit their aesthetic. I had told them I would try and get some lamps so that we could have more lighting in the bedroom. I had thrifted a few lamps, but needed a spot to put them as they were not floor lamps. Because of this I kept two of the lamps on my desk until we were able to find something. I also had a paper bag full of frames that I was going to use in my gallery wall next to my desk. Because of the lack of wall space by my bed(bathroom door), I asked my roommates if I would be able to put my gallery wall by my desk (which was in the living room). They agreed.
The problem started when I came back from one of my classes. I walked in and noticed a few things had changed. One of my frames was hanged. A few other frames were by the tv area as decoration. One of my lamps and trash can we’re also put out as decoration. My first reaction was shock. I didn’t know this was gonna happen.
A little more backstory. One of the reasons I decided to not live with my previous roommates was because I noticed my things would be moved and used from my personal space. This was something I didn’t want to deal with so I decided to move in with my now roommates.
This event had given me flashbacks to my previous roommates. I did not enjoy the feeling. I was upset because Feefee had gone through my stuff in order to put up my decoration. I understand that all of it was in the living room, but it was either on, next or under my desk so that it wouldn’t take up any extra space. I immediately began to take down the decoration. I knew that my emotions were too strong to talk about at the moment so I decided to put all my decorations in my closet that way feefee wouldn’t see it and be reminded that I took it off until I was ready to talk with her. During this, none of my roommates were home, so I was able to calm myself down a little. I tried giving feefee the benefit of the doubt because I really didn’t think she did this with the purpose to upset me. It was just something that was a little too fresh and upsetting. I made dinner and got on FaceTime with my mom and sister (as I usually do after my classes). Feefee walked in and I was scared she would be mad that I took off the decoration. I tried to make myself look busy and she was in a rush and about to walk out again. She didn’t bring it up and I was relieved. Talking to my family about other things also helped me cool off. I decided to go outside to our dorms grass area because I didn’t want to be home when she got back.
Both feefee and our other roommate were back home and texted me asking where I was. I told them I was outside and they came to tell me they were gonna get dinner and if I wanted to come. I told them I had already eaten and they could go on without me. Then feefee asks me what happened to the decoration. I told her that I took it down but that I would talk to her about it later. She said okay and they left. I went back inside because my phone had died. It was late and I was still too upset at the situation that I decided to talk to her the next day.
So, am I over reacting by putting my stuff in my closet after my roommate used my decoration to decorate our room?
(If there is anything unclear or doesn’t make sense let me know)
Posted May 28, 2026, 10:48 AM UTC