[QCrit] TOTALLY FINE, Upmarket, 60K, Second Attempt + First 300

I really appreciated the feedback I received on my first attempt, I tried to drill in and make this query more specific. Thank you so much in advance!

Dear [AGENT],

Liz Miller is totally fine. Except everyone keeps telling her she’s not. So what if her husband leaves after three failed rounds of IVF? Or that the coworkers who now function as her only “friends” keep leapfrogging her up the corporate ladder? Or that her aging mother needs more mothering than she ever provided? Liz feels fine. Really.
 
On her 42nd birthday, her body betrays her once again. First a hot flash, followed by a workplace outburst her coworkers are quick to diagnose as the first flares of perimenopause. Overnight, every frustration in her life is reframed by the world as a hormonal malfunction. Her irritability? Hormones. Her attraction to her new boss? Definitely hormones. Her grief over losing the future she thought she would have? Apparently hormones, too.
 
Liz becomes obsessed with proving that she is still desirable, stable and in control, and throws herself into the world of wellness, beauty and self-optimization. She invests in skincare, supplements and anti-aging treatments while trying to perfect the performance of being a calm, effortless woman. But the closer she gets to her “best self”, the harder it becomes to contain her rage. What begins as immersive, violent fantasies soon bleeds into real life, and she starts harming those around her, both physically and psychologically. Ultimately, Liz gets everything the world keeps insisting that she should want. But by then, what’s actually left of her?

TOTALLY FINE is a 60,000-word work of upmarket psychological fiction combining the bodily unease and female reinvention of All Fours with the darkly comic workplace satire and contemporary voice of Madeleine Gray’s Green Dot, alongside the visceral depictions of the female body and feral undercurrent of rage found in Nightbitch.
 
I’m an American mom currently living in London and a former advertising copywriter and marketing executive. I have a bachelor’s degree in writing and literature from the University of California, San Diego and recently completed Stanford University’s Continuing Studies two-year Novel Writing Certificate program.
 
Thank you for your time and consideration. 

First 300

On Tuesdays, I went to the coffee shop on Paddington, the one with the adaptogen turmeric lattes. On Thursdays, I got oat milk iced matcha at the cafe on Blandford but since today was Wednesday, I went to the coffee shop on Chiltern, the one with the coconut collagen cappuccinos. I was sipping my cappuccino, trying to think about nothing, when that girl from work (was it Julie? Jennifer? Jessica?) plopped down at my table, completely interrupting my train of thought.

“Liz! I thought that was you! What are you doing? Meditating?”

“Not exactly,” I said.

“Okay, weirdo!” She laughed, like we were good friends. “Aren’t their cappuccinos the best? They’re my fave. Though, I guess coconut milk is on the outs now. We’re such little rebels!” She winked at me. She had a line of coconut milk foam on her upper lip. “How are you?”

“I think I killed my Pilates instructor this morning.” My voice was surprisingly calm. Maybe that ashwagandha supplement I’d been taking was finally kicking in.

“Oh my god, I know. Pilates kills me! It is so hard!” Julie/Jennifer/Jessica was staring at her phone, her thumb furiously scrolling.

“No, like. I think I broke her neck. I hid her body in a storage closet.”

“LOL Liz, you are so funny. By the way, did you get that Partiful link I sent out? I’m having this very cool, very chic, wellness party at mine. I needed your RSVP, like, yesterday.”

Nobody ever listened.

I drained the rest of my cappuccino. The collagen powder was gritty on my tongue.

“Count me in,” I said.

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