Leaving the main house of your marriage

I am in the beginning stages of my divorce and trying to find a lawyer at this time. I’m trying to emotionally prepare myself on the options. My STBXH is proposing to buy my half of the main house we share and I get my own house near by and get 50/50. I know for the fact that I cannot afford that house we have now by myself but my heart breaks knowing I will only see my kids half the time.

(Very Short Story Background) I am in the classic case of being a single married working mother for over a decade. He dealt with just the basic traditional dad things like the repairs of the house, take the kids to practice, etc. I did all the domesticated chores and worked full time but the last couple of years I got burned out. I started to take care of myself (working out) and worked my mental health and trying to find local friends (still trying to find adult friends and it’s hard!) and the house isn’t perfect like it used to be (clean and always in place).

I just got so tired of taking care of everyone but myself. The lack of connection and the loneliness started to weigh heavy on me. He doesn’t believe in date nights or anything and I pretty much asked for his help and asked to go out which he did not want to. I finally reached a breaking point this year and wanted a divorce because the affection and love was no longer there, and safety of expressing my feelings were no longer safe. We did do couples counseling years ago and things started to be better but then I got pregnant and it reverted back to his ways of not connecting at all with me.

(SBTXH Proposal) The main house will serve as a the main residence to the kids so they can stay in the same school system. Even if we sell the house, we won’t be able to afford individual residents in the same town because it’s just so expensive. My kids are at an age where they already had to transition into another school system two years ago and they are just starting to settle. Moving them again would make it harder for them for both school and home (divorce).

Is there anyone here who was in this situation?
How did you cope?

I just feel huge shame of potentially leaving and I think normally the father is the one who usually leaves the main house or is that something that is completely outdated?

I just can’t bare being without my kids but I cannot be with their father anymore. I don’t even know there’s a possibility of any type of counseling that can save this marriage.

Thank you for reading. ❤️