Who even am i? Hdbsjjsn

Tdlr: The situation with me now is my girlfriend left me. (She’s graduating and leaving delhi in 2 days)
This was a year old relationship where we both impulsively met irl through hinge and never left.
Now i m21 coming from a tier 2 city was and is very against dating platforms.

I downloaded hinge back then because of loneliness hovering all around me while still being in a relationship where my girlfriend back then was in my hometown itself. I was so love deprived while being in a relationship. I downloaded and boom 2 hours after downloading? I met this girl. Sweetest soul ever. Wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Basic info : i was a freshman and she was completing her second year.

We met at my place and never left each other but i had a lot of drama and baggage w me because i was already in a dead relationship right?. She just used hinge and go out w alot of people on hinge. Which was very unusual to me. I eventually got a place together which was very near to hers. The first fuckuo was me taking somebody elses name while fuc*ing her, second was she coming to know about my girlfriend, third was again something. She used to like smoking weed i did not. Now i am hooked on to weed so bad that i cannot even start to explain. Did everything right for her but always managed to do something so weird that one would find it hard to even believe. I eventually broke up w my girl back at home and started dating her. We both were doing good and one day comes where we both agreed to downloading hinge together because we’re lonely together now. It has been more than a month since this drama has started and both just somehow cannot stop humiliating each other i cannot even explain.

Right now i am sitting ducks with cardboard boxes infront of me waiting to start packing and move out of this place

I don’t have a personality of my own, i am a compulsive liar, i have always let everybody down, i cannot do anything right, i only have been ignorant of how fucked my life is and i have to make it better. Kept ignoring the real problems and kept having fun.

I was gonna type every detail but tired now