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Ive (F24) been best friends with B (F24) since we were 11. In the last few years Ive moved about 4 hours away from her.

B has a habit of cancelling plans at the last minute. Word count wont let me add context, but ill add it if wanted.
In early May B was supposed to visit. We planned this a month in advance and bc of the cancellations, i decided not to book my time off until she had done hers. This happened to fall on the same weekend I was scattering my nans ashes, so I forgot to book time off work. My fault. i didn’t tell her about deliberately not booking it off bc shes unreliable, just let her believe i had forgotten entirely. I omitted this bc I knew she wouldve been upset and I also didnt know how to phrase it without it sounding like i was just blaming her unreliability, i thought the best way forward was to say i forgot and take responsibility for that. We then rearranged the plan to her coming mid may, which i booked off as soon as we agreed the dates. She messaged the night before saying she knows she should have let me know sooner but was afraid of how i would react and has XYZ to do so cant make it.
it felt like if i said anything id be hypocritical, so I left it a few days. But the more i thought about, the more it felt unfair that she told me the night before when she’d known for a while she wasnt going to make it, and that she blamed me. we’ve argued about this in the past, but ive never been horrible to her about it, just said that it felt inconsiderate and disrespectful and asked that she let me know sooner so I can still utilise my time. So after a few days I sent a short message saying i was hurt and upset and that this was why I didnt book the time off in advance last time.
She went ballistic. Shes said that me not booking time off means im either a liar who manipulated the situation to get my own way at her expense, or im liar whos just saying this to make her look bad and unreliable, but either way im a manipulative, selfish liar and shes lost respect for me. She also said that i would be terrible at my job.
I definitely could have handled the situation better, and i do see where shes coming from that i lied about not booking time off. But i don’t think its entirely on me: theres a correlation between her last minute cancellations and me waiting for confirmation before booking time off. I also feel like a lot of what shes said was personal and hurtful and are the type of things I never would have said to her.
In response to her message, ive asked her for some space from the friendship so both of us can consider if we’re bringing out the best or worst in each other. But i still cant figure out if im over reacting or being an asshole to her about what is on paper: not a huge issue. So i need some anonymous feedback on whether its me, her, or both of us being assholes: mainly AITA 1) generally in this scenario and 2) for getting mad about the cancellation