Kim has driven up to Wisconsin to visit Ethan after learning he spent Christmas day "in his car, in a park, waiting and hoping for Teegan to show up."

Kim says "It worries me...to me it kind of feels like a red flag," and because of the editing, I can't tell if she means Ethan's behaviour or Teegan's, but I'm leaning towards Teegan, given everything we know about Kim. Which is truly baffling, considering she preceeded that statement by telling us her adult son, who stalked his disinterested ex to her home state, spent Christmas day seething in a car waiting for her to call...and somehow Teegan is the red flag?

Buckle up, this is going to be a weird episode.

At Ethan's, Kim helps him unpack the carful of stuff she brought for him. She asks Ethan where he and Teegan stand and just flat out ignores her for 10 whole seconds, if the editing is to be believed. That 10 seconds feels like an eternity. Kim finally cuts in with a, "did you just hear me say that?" She repeats the question. Ethan turns away, and with very uncomfortable body language, says everything's ok but they're not together. Kim presses further, telling the audience in the cutaway that she's trying to communicate more with her kids. Ethan literally flees the room. Classic Ethan tactic.

Kim thinks Ethan is making decisions based on emotion, and she hopes some logic will creep in at some point. I can't help but agree in this instance, though the cackle she follows it up with is so off-putting it's making it hard for me to forget all her logically inconsistent decisions.

Kim corners him in the hallway so they can finish the damn scene, and gives Ethan the quick, TV version of her timeline with Ken, stating they broke up "for a few months" and then "realised they loved each other" and lived happily ever after. Ethan stares at his shoes and replies "mm-hmm." 

Kim enabling Ethan's behaviour is mind-blowing to me. Her "concern" is in alllll the wrong places here. Assuming Teegan is the red flag and encouraging Ethan's opining and refusal to actually work on himself is truly PLATHologocal. Ethan runs away again.

In the talking head, Ethan says if he tells Kim anything, she might tell the rest of the family. It's so sad to me he doesn't he how much Kim betrayed him (his whole life really) when she gave the ultimatum about Olivia. She's so manipulative and he's soooo close to realising it. He admits he doesn't know where Teegan's at with regard to their relationship. He says he wants to be respectful of her and how she's feeling. Fair enough! Credit where it's due, that sounds like a good idea for once.

In Talahassee, at Lydia and Zac's apartment, Isaac and Kaylynn arrive for pizzas and games. Isaac says he wants them to feel cared for, because they are family. He says there's no hard feelings, at least on his end. This is a pretty different Isaac than the guy we were seeing last season. 

Zac asks how Montana went. He reveals they weren't invited, but they couldn't have gone anyway because they were both working. Isaac says he was invited, so he wouldn't be the one doing the inviting anyway.

Sidebar, but Lydia looks absolutely radiant. Distance from her family and what appears to be a healthy marriage have done her a world of good. She's glowing.

They break out the couples game, and the first question is "what is our fiercest ongoing debate?" Lydia and Zac both answer that it's the timing of when to have kids. 😬 Guys, this is definitely something that should've been discussed and agreed in advance of the wedding.

Second question is "if you were a horse and a cowboy, who would ride who," which immediately cracks everyone up. Isaac draws a funny little pic of stickwoman Kaylynn riding him like a horse as he's on all fours, and sweetly says it's because he could carry her, and nothing more. Honestly nothing but green flags out of Isaac so far this episode. Loving the growth in him!

Isaac giggles as he tells the audience the last time he was visiting Zac & Lydia, about a week after they got married, he had to fix their bed. Yuck. But also, love this for you, Lydia. 😉 He says that the relationship between the newlyweds and his family has come a long way, and he's gone out of his way to apologise for his behaviour and contributing to hurting them in any way. Yes! Full on unabashed, on camera (and off camera, by the looks of the body language in the room) accountability. We LOVE to see it. He still thinks they're a bit "high up on their stool," and honestly given their religious context, I don't doubt that.

Back in Wisconsin, Teegan tells us Ethan invited her over. She hasn't seen him since Montana, except at Christmas when he picked up a plate of food from her family. That pretty much directly contradicts the narrative Kim implied, saying Ethan was fully alone on Christmas day, waiting around for her to call. Sounds like she and her family had already reached out and coordinated Xmas dinner - NOT that they were obligated to in the first place. 

Teegan says Ethan doesn't call her. He's just "living there without making any effort. It's just really weird." Yes it is girl. Ethan gives her the tour of the house after making her wait at the door so long she had to bang on it. We get  to the bedroom and it is a special kind of sad. Ethan says he's been moved in for two weeks, but he's still sleeping on the floor. He says he's got a bed coming, but it's not here yet. Teegan says, "it's Ethan Plath, so it makes sense. He has slept some very weird places before, with much less, soooo...." Yikes.

Ethan asks if Teegan wants to make brownies. She's not interested, but Ethan continues. Classic Ethan. He says they made brownies together in the past, but Teegan doesn't seem to remember. She asks if he's going to poison them. Ethan says no, and doesn't find it funny. I don't find it funny either. I think there's a reason she asked.

Teegan seems genuinely creeped out and disengaged at this point, despite saying that moving to Wisconsin was "a step in the right direction".

Oh god, Kim has showed up. She bursts through the door and then seems to remember she's on camera and demurres a bit, knocking on the inside wall and calling out a "hello?" Teegan bursts out laughing at the absurdity of the situation and tells Ethan someone's here. Reasonable of her to assume he has hearing issues given how he acts sometimes.

Kim comments on how awkward everything is, and asks if Ethan wants to bring the chairs in now. Ethan, desperate to run away from any semblance of a feeling, agrees hastily. After bringing the chairs in, he has to "run to the store", and if I didn't know this was heavily produced and Teegan had agreed it in advance i would definitely be commenting on how full of rage I'd be in her position. If my ex had me over in his scary, empty apartment and then left me there with his psychotic mom, there would be hell to pay.

Kim wastes little time before jumping right in and asking Teegan what she and Ethan are to each other. Teegan says they're a step below friends because they don't talk or hang out anymore. Kim indirectly asks what the problem was in the relationship, and Teegan gives us the same line she's been touting all season about Ethan prioritising himself.

Kim tells us in the talking head that Ethan disappeared for several hours the night they broke up and so "she just drove back to Wisconsin and broke up with him." She says she can't blame her, and that he has a lot of stuff to work through from his first marriage. Yes, Kim, a marriage you meddled in and had a hand in ending.

Kim actually sides with Teegan, miraculously, and tells Teegan Ethan had "one of the good ones," with her. A very surprising end to that scene and a rare W for Kimmy.

In Talahassee, we're at Pure Life with Zac & Barry. Barry is upside down on an invesrion table and says "it's good to fill your brain with a ton of blood".

Zac says he and Lydia just got back from a trip to Montana with Isaac, Kaylynn and Moriah. Lydia has flown to Wisconsin to meet Kim, and he's gone back to Talahassee.

Barry, jiggling profusely on a vibration pad, asks Zac how Lydia and Kim are doing, post conversation about the wedding. Zac says Lydia wants Kim to be more emotionally involved, and to check in on her more. Barry empathises, and says he knows what that's like.

The subject of Joshua comes up and we cut to a flashback from season 1. It's amazing to see how Kim and Barry have changed in that time. In the present, Barry (still jiggling,) posits that Kim may have unhealed trauma around Joshua. That, and quite a few other things I suspect, Barry. 

Barry and Zac move to the sauna, and Barry thanks Zac for being with him today and invites him on a double date to the sauna one day. Nothing I'd like more than being invited on a double date in a sauna while sitting in a tiny one with my FIL.

On the topic of dating, Barry reveals he had an intro phone call with someone his matchmaker set him up with. On the call, they got onto the topic of Halloween, and Barry does NOT do Halloween. He needs someone who gets Halloween like he gets Halloween, he says, and tbh I don't think he gets Halloween at all. 🎃

We're with Lydia and Kim now in Wisconsin. Lydia says it was good to see Ethan. In the car, Kim says she has a playlist with 500 songs and she loves every single one of them, and she's always frustrated she doesn't get to hear them all. Lydia, who is smart enough to know they aren't 500 worship songs, dissociates in this moment and responds with an uncharacteristically flat, "uhkay". I feel for her. She's always so struck by Kim's inconsistency because she really took everything they said as the literal gospel truth.

Oh wow, and it continues. Kim, priming Lydia, shows her a picture of a bong she allegedly found in the barn. She explains what it is, and the various ways you can smoke pot. She then blurts, "I smoked pot twice in college." Lydia continues dissociating in the passenger seat as she tries to reconcile this incongruous lore with her previously pious rearing. Uncomfortable, she asks, "How'd we get on this subject?" And Kim says, "anyway, just a thought."

What was the point of that, Kim? Was it just a power move? We're you delighting in your daughter's discomfort? Are you implying Lydia should spark a J?

Lydia says, "I'm glad you didn't keep it up." And Kim replies with unconvincing reassurance. Lydia expresses missing Zac, and earnestly says "he's a pretty good therapist," which makes me wish she'd get a real therapist.

Lydia says that growing up, she didn't learn how to communicate, and part of that was not talking about Joshua. Kim recounts Lydia posting online "crying about Joshua," and saying she wasn't equipped to deal with that. Kim says hearing Lydia talk about it online was like ripping open that wound for her, and that she felt that Lydia blamed her for not communicating about it. Lydia says she needed him to be acknowledged, and to be able to talk about him. She says Kim doesn't know how to communicate things if they're not in the forefront of her focus. Kim says she asked all her friends and they felt Lydia implied she couldn't talk about it. Is it just me or is this incredibly circular? Kim balks, saying you couldn't POSSIBLY be blaming ME for not communicating and Lydia makes it clear thats exactly what she's saying and she felt uncomfortable growing up in an environment where emotional conversations were off the table. 

Kim says "well yeah, dad and I didn't give you the tools to deal with that, but I don't think anybody can!" God, this woman is ALLERGIC to accountability. Of course parents can support their children to grieve in healthy ways. Of course there are parents who properly emotionally equip their children. Just because YOU can't do it doesn't mean nobody can.

Kim says it's sad that Lydia is opening up to the internet and not her, and it explains the gulf between them, and she wants to fix that (once again shifting the blame to Lydia). I think Lydia has been quite brave and forthcoming in expressing her feelings directly to Kim, and if Kim wanted to fix things she'd be willing to take accountability for her fuckups.

S08E08 "Did you hear me Just say that?"