22F - feeling so dumb around my peers

I am passionate about a lot of things but my disorders slow things down for me. I'm not able get things in my mind even after trying so many times.

Even in life when I'm longing for consistency, I'd break it off suddenly due to my own impulses and that makes things worse.

Environment at home is often about blaming me for everything and when I'm doing something for myself I'd get taunted and discouraged, "you haven't done anything till now why are you acting so much"

Nothing excites me anymore and my peers have been doing so much better than what I'm doing, i don't want to compare but the job market is really tough and i really don't want to miss opportunities.

I'm just tired of life and getting more and more depressed. I want to get lost from everywhere.