My new girlfriend omitted important details about her male friend

(have used CHATGPT to make this neat and readable, but all details accurate)

I’m feeling really confused and would appreciate outside perspectives because I can’t tell if this is normal early relationship turbulence or something more concerning.

I’ve been seeing a woman (Anna) for a few months and we have a very strong connection emotionally, physically, and intellectually. I care about her a lot and there are many good things: she’s kind, smart, affectionate, and we communicate deeply and repair well after conflict.

However, things have become very intense around trust and honesty.

Early on I told her about a female friend (Maya). There was never anything sexual, but we had some emotional ambiguity in the past (cuddling, hand-holding, closeness). I didn’t initially explain the full extent of that and shared details gradually over time. This hurt Anna a lot and she felt like trust was damaged because she felt she wasn’t getting the full story.

Around the same time, she became uncomfortable with me continuing that friendship and I agreed to stop seeing Maya.

We also had a lot of conversations about boundaries, opposite-sex friendships, and social situations with friends, and it sometimes felt emotionally tense but we always repaired afterwards.

Recently though, a similar issue came up from her side which really destabilised me. She has a male friend (Daniel) who she initially described in very minimal terms, like there were just “vibes” that he would get with her if she wanted. I asked her about it a few times and had to probe quite a bit before the story gradually expanded: first that he had told someone he wanted to sleep with her, then that they had been flirty in the past, and eventually that she had actually cut him off for a few months because he was being pushy. This all came out over time rather than upfront.

What really threw me is that she had strongly emphasised honesty and transparency with me after the Maya situation, so I now feel confused and a bit betrayed that her situation turned out to be more complicated than initially presented in a similar way.

She did apologise, took responsibility, and even offered to let me read their chat history to fully understand things. She also says a lot of this is her own insecurity and something she needs to work on.

I don’t think she’s malicious, and I can see we both have patterns around conflict avoidance and not fully disclosing emotionally difficult details early on. We also repair well after arguments and reconnect.

But I feel really unsure now. Part of me thinks this is just early relationship turbulence and two people learning how to trust each other, and part of me feels emotionally exhausted and unsure if this dynamic is actually healthy for me long term.

Would appreciate honest outside opinions.