📻 COMMUNITY UPDATE: “The Meeting That No One Admits Attending”

Sponsored by the Footscray Lantern Society, who remind you: if your lantern flickers, it is not the wind. It is trying to tell you something.

Good evening, listeners.

A strange tension hangs over West Footscray tonight — the kind that suggests a secret has been whispered, loudly, by someone who definitely wasn’t supposed to know it.

Local activism has taken on a new and unsettlingly organised form.

At dawn, an unmarked circle of chairs appeared in Johnson Reserve. Twelve chairs. All facing inward. All warm to the touch, as if recently occupied.

No one claims to have held a meeting there. No one claims to have attended.

Yet several residents report waking up with a faint memory of voting on something important, something urgent, something involving lentils and cosmic accountability.

The Council advises that if you feel a sudden urge to “continue the work,” you should drink water, ground yourself, and avoid making eye contact with any chairs arranged in geometric patterns.

Meanwhile, the Footscray Ethical Consumption Alliance has launched a new campaign encouraging residents to “buy less, share more, and fear the glowing trolley at Coles.”

The trolley has been seen rolling on its own again, humming softly, as if dreaming of liberation.

In other news, the Maribyrnong Night Watchers will be hosting a twilight walk tonight to raise awareness about light pollution.

Participants are asked to bring torches, but not turn them on. The darkness will guide you. The darkness has a plan.

A reminder:

If you hear chanting coming from the community garden after midnight, do not investigate. The kale is unionising.

And now, the weather:

A gentle fog of introspection drifting in from Seddon.

A brief shower of oat‑milk foam around sunrise.

A 55% chance that time will loop slightly between 3 and 3:07 p.m., especially for those who haven’t yet composted their food scraps.

Stay curious, stay compassionate, and avoid the alley behind the laundromat. The shadows there have begun taking attendance.