Need my daddy back...

I have done a lot of things in my early twenties that I think one day I'll be more worried about, but right now I'm just having fun. This heatwave has me so horny and I'm thinking about one of my largest age gaps - I was 20 and he was 45. He was really into daddy daughter play and wanted me to fight him. It became a game where he would trap me in a room and I would try to escape, only to end up with him forcing his way between my legs. He did everything to me - spitting, hitting, forced anal, choking me until I was almost out... All while making me call him names I shouldn't. At the time I blamed the wine but honestly, I never cum harder than when its an older man taking advantage. Now I'm wanting to consider his last request - that strangers smell my knickers. So embarrassing but I can't stop thinking about it