Brand new convert wanting to leave already

Newly Converted, Wanting to Abandon the Faith

***Hello everyone, I'm a 36-year-old man. I completed seven months of formation in the Catholic Church (OCIA) and converted to Catholicism on Easter Vigil, April 4th. I took the conversion process, learning, and practicing the faith very seriously. I gave 110% to Jesus and the Church, but after Easter, I started to feel like it wasn't working. I've been reading the Bible for a year, along with the daily readings and praying every night, attending Mass about twice a month and every weekend. Since October, I've only listened to Catholic content—a lot of it: books, YouTube, Relevant Radio, podcasts, etc.—but now I have no desire to continue with any of this or to go to Mass.**

I don't know what to tell you, but we are in this world to gain eternity by living according to what Jesus Christ taught us. And of course, if you feel strong and able to do things, there are always plenty of opportunities to practice charity. You know that the needs are many and the workers few.

**I have health problems that have worsened since my conversion, a lot of debt, and a low income. My time is very limited, and I hoped God would show me a path to healing, but He never did.**

If becoming Catholic meant being cured of your illnesses and having God pay your debts, I beg your pardon, but you haven't become Catholic; you've simply tried to buy God, and God isn't for sale. Being Catholic is about serving more than being served. The saints found happiness by giving all they could, and as many know, even their lives. That doesn't mean we shouldn't ask God for everything we need and want, as long as it's good, but only God knows what is best for us. And whatever our happiness may be, it should always be serving God in all that we can, and only in this way will we be happy, and the better we do it, the happier we will be.

**I realize that it's still up to me to fix my life, and I'm ready to leave the church. But I find it very difficult. Actually, I made the decision last week, although I went to Mass last weekend.**

Well, continue fulfilling all your obligations as a Catholic. God never abandons us; all we have to do is love Him with all our strength, and suffering for His love is the best way to demonstrate love. Only eternal life is important.

**I've simply reached a point where I don't want to read or hear anything Catholic. And yet, it's very hard for me to stop or leave, and I feel sad because until recently I was in love with the faith. Perhaps I'm at a middle ground, or I have doubts, but it's very hard for me to leave. I've also made many friends in the church, and I feel that I would disappoint them if I left. My godmother is the director of the OCIA, and I'm afraid to tell her. I meet with her and other new converts almost every week to pray the rosary.

You can never have too much instruction; the only way to love something is to know the goodness of what you love, and God's goodness is limitless, so we can never know enough.

I think I'm an all-or-nothing person, so I dove in as deep as I could for the last eight months. I loved that faith was so profound and had so much to learn. I felt like I could never be satisfied or bored, almost like I was chasing a carrot on a stick to learn more and find God. But now I feel like there's too much to learn and do, and I can never do enough. My circumstances, my intuition, and my desires are leading me in a different direction, where what I can offer the Church and God is so little that what's the point of continuing?

As you can see, like most people, in one way or another, what we seek is to satisfy ourselves, and we can only achieve that by loving first and foremost the Owner of all happiness.

**I wonder if anyone has had a similar experience and if they can offer me any advice. Thank you!**

In addition to what I've already said, and I hope you're not offended by any of it, I would just add that you try to put yourself in the hands of a good priest. I'm sure almost all of them will have encountered many cases like yours or similar ones.

May God help you and

Best regards