Communication and socializing is hard for me

It's so, so, so hard for me to communicate and socialize. I'm fifteen and turning sixteen this year. Ever since elementary ako, super duper mahiyain na talaga ako and I only had 1 friend from Grade 1–6. Then nung lumipat ako ng school for high school, I didn't have any friends sa first year section ko. And then Grade 8–10, can you imagine it? I've been with my classmates for 3 years, pero I still didn't have any friends, kahit isa.

I am really, really, really shy. Though I'm trying to communicate when it comes to group projects/activities, pero hanggang doon lang. When it comes to normal conversations or socializing, hirap talaga ako. Every time na may events sa school namin, or simpleng fun lang sa room namin, gosh, sobrang left out ko. I can't understand myself rin kasi some of my classmates are trying to include me, pero I keep declining, and the reason is always, 'nahihiya ako.'

Pero sa online, kaya kong makipag-usap at makipagkaibigan, but still, hirap pa rin ako makipag-communicate. I really feel lonely and I hate that sarili ko rin naman mismo may kasalanan o may mali.

I really like reading poetries, and I'm also into novels.

Currently reading Crime and Punishment online and The Idiot in an actual book. I also like to write poems, my way to usually let out what I feel, but sometimes, I write what just comes out on my mind.

One thing I can't live without is music, it's my only friend and it has it's way on understanding me and feeling comforted by it. I don't have an specific music taste, basta when a music is good for me, then I like it. But my favorites are Radiohead, Jeff Buckley, Oasis, and Zild. :)