AIO, brother in law is uncommunicative

alright so i (31 M) and my wife (29 f) have been having issues with our income due to vehicle issues preventing us from traveling far, her sister and brother in law live a good 40 to 45 minutes away and i have tried to contact both of them hundreds of times to let them know we cant go to things they demand we show up for. I've been dropping time doing odd jobs and working as much as i can cause our van needed a new catalytic converter, 02 sensor, ty rods (absolutely unsure how to spell it) and spark plugs wires. altogether costing me over 1400.

yesterday, after they did their obligatory bullshit of going off and cussing and yelling at my wife over not paying for their getaway out of town they demanded we pay for i finally snapped, i told him (brother in law) if he refuses to communicate and keeps threatening to cut us off and never talk to us again or consider us family that he needs to grow the fuck up and start responding to calls and text, its not our fault he has the audacity to say we don't ever respond to him when he is demanding we pay for bullshit for him to go do without us, I've been willing to pay for stuff before, even to the extent of taking the family out of town to a restaurant and paying for the stay. but every other day they are demanding we go out to eat or go to great wolf lodge or to worlds of fun or some other bullshit while I'm busy getting our vehicle to even go across town let alone out of state.

i feel like an asshole telling him to fuck off, and i don't know if i over reacted, being autistic i let emotions get to me a little too much sometimes and i feel i might of crossed a line with what i said, i need some guidance on what to do and i don't have anyone to turn to but my wife who is supportive of me telling them to kick rocks. any advice is appreciated.