Just lost my fp and now the urge for another is playing out with my key worker. Arghhh

I mean, it's probably a safer place for this dynamic to play out. With an experienced mental health key worker. I'm just frustrated at myself. Just lost my fp of over 2 years. Surprised at myself for not collapsing into complete crisis. I guess that's progress. My mental health team have increased support recently and I've found myself completely crushing on my key worker in that fp kind of way.

I'm suddenly finding her very attractive, and wishing I could be more like her, and spend more time with her. She's clearly picking up on it and being very clear about boundaries. Which is soothing in a way. As I'm not used to them really. Anyone else in a similar position? I feel really alone. No judgement please. I'm already in a deep shame and self blame hole about it all!