confused after arranged marriage roka anxiety or red flags?

32M confused after arranged marriage roka – anxiety or genuine red flags?
I’m a 32-year-old male from India. Met a girl through arranged marriage setup around 3 months ago. After 2 meetings we said yes and did roka.
Initially things actually felt okay. I felt relaxed talking to her, conversations flowed naturally, families were compatible, and while attraction wasn’t movie-level, it felt enough to move ahead. She smiled warmly, seemed emotionally invested, and I genuinely felt this could work.
But after roka, I started overthinking massively.
Now I constantly analyze:
her communication style,
bluntness,
attraction,
tone,
passive-aggressive behavior,
insecurity,
future compatibility,
even small interactions.
I have a history of anxiety/overthinking even before this relationship:
health anxiety,
panic around career decisions,
fear of irreversible mistakes,
obsessive thinking loops.
But I genuinely can’t tell anymore whether I’m overthinking or seeing real incompatibility.
Some incidents bothering me:
Early insecurity/checking behavior
Within literally 2–3 days she started noticing/checking my Truecaller activity and WhatsApp last seen/status timings.
One day I told her I was washing utensils, but I was also talking to someone on call. She directly but respectfully said:
“Mujhe ek cheez bilkul pasand nahi hai ki koi mujhse jhooth bole.”
Later when I hid my last seen/status, she said:
“Mujhe pata chal gaya hai ki main jitna poochungi aap utni cheezein band kar doge.”
At that time it felt intrusive to me.
Pink underwear incident
Once she asked my favorite color. I casually said:
“Color se kya farak padta hai.”
Later I told her orange is my favorite color.
Next day she jokingly/bluntly said:
“Agar main aapko pink underwear laake du toh pehenoge? Color matter nahi karta na?”
Maybe it sounds silly, but things like this sometimes feel sharp or taunting to me.
Astrology comment
I once questioned astrology slightly during conversation. Later she said:
“Agar astrology pe believe nahi karte toh milne kyun aaye the?”
Again, maybe not huge, but I keep getting bothered by the tone/bluntness.
Mother intervention line
Once when I repeatedly said things like:
“Maybe you should find someone else if you want,”
she softly told me:
“Aise baar baar mat bolo warna mujhe mummy-papa ko batana padega.”
Part of me saw this as reasonable. Another part felt pressured/scared.
Other concerns:
If I don’t call for one day, her mood changes/passive-aggressive behavior starts.
Sometimes she indirectly questions female classmates/social media likes.
She can get defensive and say “aap bhi toh aise karte ho.”
Sometimes I feel she has a sharp tongue.
But positives are also there:
She apologizes quickly.
She worries if I ate.
She asks if I felt hurt.
She tries to calm me during spirals.
She stays emotionally invested.
She doesn’t seem cruel or manipulative overall.
During normal calls/video calls, I often feel okay and emotionally connected again.
What’s confusing me is:
When I’m calm and interacting naturally, relationship feels workable.
When I start analyzing future, red flags, attraction, tone etc, panic returns badly.
I’ve even had crying spells and vomiting from anxiety over this.
I genuinely can’t tell:
Is this normal arranged marriage adjustment + my anxiety magnifying flaws?
OR
Are these early signs of future emotional suffocation/passive-aggressive marriage?
Would appreciate honest opinions, especially from married people or people who went through arranged marriage confusion.