Jealousy in friendship

Hello everyone!

I’m a 20 years old young woman and I am facing several issues. They are related to self confidence issues, my love life and friendships

I will try to be as straightforward and fast as possible.

I am a black girl, I often struggle with harsh self criticism (my appearance because I am not as attractive as I would have wanted to be, I don’t have straight hair or certain desirable features) and I have an awkward personality.

Apart from my self confidence issues I never had a good love life and I’ve always thought it was a direct consequence for my appearance.
I’m currently trying to work on it and try to be more grounded but sometimes it is hard.

I have a gorgeous
I have a friend who is approximately what I would have wanted to look like to be accepted (white, brunette, petite, good face, a bit of confidence).
She also gets male validation and is approached.

I’ve noticed I felt envy towards her situation. It’s very uncomfortable and unsettling. It looks like these weird incel men situation.

It’s kind of pissing me off rn… I also feel like I don’t want to stay friends with her anymore.
One day when we were together she asked me about a guy I had a problem with and ended up saying I put myself in these situations or that I had a shitty love life. (I don’t exactly remember but I didn’t like it)
She said it in front of her friends and strangers in public.

I don’t feel comfortable anymore sharing my issues cause I don’t want her to feel satisfied or feel like her life is better than mine.

I have another issue with her : she never even once told me I looked bad or advised me to fix something on a bad hair day or bad makeup day for ex

Idk I’m scared she may even get satisfaction from being the prettier friend…

I know the more you read this the more insane I sound…

I feel desesperate.. I’ve tried a lot of things to get prettier (a good diet, cutting off sugar, skincare, supplements, yoga)… and I still don’t feel pretty and nothing has changed

My love life still sucks, I still don’t get approached and I’m still the duff