I think my (20f) boyfriend (21m) isn’t attracted to me. How do I confront this?

Haven’t posted in years, not sure the language restrictions or the exact format of this forum.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months, but set up by a mutual friend, so we have k own each other for a year.

The relationship is just about perfect in my eyes. He is so kind and caring and supportive. We make each other laugh so much and he’s so affectionate. I have no doubt that he loves me most of the time.

But since the beginning of our relationship, he has had some issues getting it up. Like our first time doing it, he was hard until we got close to it, then it went down. And that happened the first 2-3 times we did it. He said he was nervous. But sometimes we’ll be making out for like 30 minutes or longer and it just won’t get up at all. He doesn’t even try to have sx most of the time, it’s usually me initiating it or seducing him. Or very sporadic in the moment things where he doesn’t even kiss me before hand or anything. He just comes into the room ready to go after showering and stuff. When I don’t initiate, it likely won’t happen. And even when I do, it still sometimes doesn’t.

No I don’t think he’s cheating on me at all. Like I said he is so perfect and increasing loving in every other way. He’s has one girl before me, and sometimes I get worried/ insecure it has something to do with that, like he’s not over her or I don’t match up to her. My friend had told me when he was with his ex that he said his “ideal amount of times was 3x a day” but I’m lucky if it get it once.

I think I’m a pretty attractive woman, and not to toot my own horn, but most people would think Im at least conversationally attractive. But I just think maybe I’m not his type. He finds me attractive but he’s not attracted to me type of thing.

Maybe it’s that, maybe he’s still hung up on his ex, maybe it’s a medical problem… idk. I’ve tried to bring it up before but he just says “I don’t know what to tell you. I can’t control it”.

Any theories of why or suggestions how to deal with this??