I feel like deleting this account

Idk man im hella depressed i made 2 3 friends here and i don't wanna ditch them but i don't think they really care or maybe i am the one who's ranting all the time and is never positive. I don't wanna bother them. Its so complicated to explain over here but yeah i wanna delete this account im overthinking alot omg who tf posts abt ts but i really don't want them to think that im such a bad person who ghosted them.

Okay I'll tell yall the thing. I am rotting in my bed everyday cuz no coaching + dummy school = isolated af + loneliness so ig i have anxious attachment even with those few friends i have. Btw i feel like I've lost my spark and all i have to talk abt is how miserable i am (ew.)

The thing is, whenever I'm replying dry or not talking much, they think idc, i have attitude and I've got a lot of ppl to talk with. But no. None of em ever asked me if I'm okay or not or why am i talking like that or why am i being distant (yeah i shouldn't expect but i would do the same for them so why not. I can't help it🤡)

Yesterday i called my school friend my bestfriend actually. She has changed a lot she's using shit ton of bad words, tryna become a "baddie" and yk that "idc the world revolves with or without them" mindset. I hate it. Cuz she wasn't like this. We used to talk a lot about our problems but nowadays she just abandons me. I even told her clearly that i feel so sad and there's a lot goin on in my house and i can't survive here and blah blah rants (she was the only one who listened to me carefully and understood me) but she didn't care this time. She just said "be strong everything wil be alright I'm with you dw padhai pe dhyan do"... bitch what? Wow and when i told her lets meet then she said her mom doesn't allow her cuz of her weekly neet tests 😂 bro goes to mcd once in every week and we live 4-5 km away fyi

I'm so done with ppl if i stay in contact with these, I'll ruin the bond ngl I'll fuck it all by ranting and then they won't listen to me and then I'll feel bad abt myself and cry consecutive days

Why tf am i alive bruh i can't figure anything out, things are getting worse and worse everyday

TLDR 😍😍 i feel lonely and emotionally exhausted lately. Since I’m in dummy school with no coaching, I spend most of my time isolated in bed and overthinking everything. I only have a few friends, and I’m scared of ruining those bonds by constantly ranting or seeming negative. Whenever I become quiet or reply dry, people assume I don’t care or have attitude, but honestly I just feel mentally drained and alone. My closest friend used to understand me, but now she feels distant and dismissive whenever I open up. I’m tired of feeling like I care more than others do, and it’s making me question all my friendships and myself too.