Seeking advice/encouragement: mental health during hormone readjustement

Hello friends!

I'm pretty sure many of you have gone or are going through the brittle phase of your default hormones revving their engines after quitting the prescripition ones. While all the new subtle physical changes are fun to keep track of, the not so subtle changes in my mental wellbeing are not.

I'm agender, always been and still am. I was on T for 6(?) years and stopped them and got birth control (periods make it worse) about six months ago when I realised being perceived as a Man™ was worse than a Woman™. I don't mind androgyny at all, but being "in between", being perceived as not-cis, is quite scary during these times of rising hate and oppression.

Even that I can manage. What is streching my butter to a piece of bread too large to even be comical, is the slow and agonizing descent towards depression. I am in a stressfull place in my life yes, poor, ill, etc, but I recognise this as the exact same panic-like desperation as the one that wanished with T. This is by no means the worst I've situation I've been in, but my brain is ready to give up hope, I cry every day (cried once a year on T), my motivation and energy levels are waning and even though I have all the same people in my life, I feel often lonely.

Does anyone relate? Did anyone find a way to keep afloat? Did it get better after some time? How long did it take? A nice word for a fellow goblin?

That's it I guess? Now I'm just rambling anxiously, might come back to edit later.

Tl;dr; Stopped T 6mo ago after 6(+) yrs and now i'm having big sads and would love to hear from your experiences