family wants me to act happy so they are happy

i (male 20 years) a lot has happened as a last son i can’t be dealing with my shit and still be needed to perform for everyone it’s getting too tiresome dealing with my shit and still having to make the family laugh,having to talk when there’s a lot in my mind. mom will find me quiet and isolated she’ll attack me saying im being disrespectful to her and everyone else and that i am not acting as i used to always laughing,talking and being around everyone.

i am dealing with my own shit and now all their speech patterns are just proof that they see me as a puppet whom they want to impose their will on.

mind you these people have betrayed,hurt,used me,lied to me,misled me and all that i am seen as a villain for no longer wanting to interact with them?

women are so fuckin complicated they find peace in argument they find peace in rage baiting. i swear when i join Uni i will not be coming back home even on holidays fuck these people on god bruh