I keep coming back at it. No matter where I am in life

No matter what happens, where i am, where I was, I don't feel connection with anyone, literally anyone around me, I have talked to variety of people, heck I am at a stage where I am building my own startup, talking to so many people, but connection? None. It keeps coming back at it, even when I had my exes, it was same, they demanded more and more from me everyday, more attention, more love, it was never enough, I am empathetic and people think they connect with me but I am probably not fun enough or talkative enough. I self evaluate a lot, which in turn paralyses me and makes everyday very hard. I feel trapped.

I have a deep wish to be loved and cared for, not necessarily romantically but in a way that i am one. This desire remains frequently unfulfilled, i am at least periodically aware of the effects of my vibe on others am genuinely saddened by my inability to control it. My life seems to be devoid of a stable social network or warm, close bonds, despite having a warm nature.

With my startup and the busy life I have, it's even more persistent, I don't have time to even look at all these issues that bother me and at a point I used to feel love can fix me, maybe just one secure connection? Idk.

I fear as i age, I might become burned-out and depressed while i look back on my restless life full of interpersonal discontentment, detoriating health.