I was ready to file for divorce, but now I’m questioning everything

I left my husband about three months ago due to emotional and financial abuse. We have children together, so we’ve remained in constant contact since the separation.

Before I left, we attended marriage counseling. After the separation, he continued seeing that counselor individually on a consistent basis. I’ve also been in individual therapy for almost a year and have been focusing on my own healing, mental health, and strengthening my relationship with God.

After I left, his verbal abuse and controlling behavior continued for a while. However, over the past week, he seems different. He says he hit rock bottom and is finally trying to process his childhood trauma so he can stop his abusive behavior. I told him that only consistent patterns of changed behavior over time will show whether that’s actually possible.

He says he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. I had several consultations with divorce attorneys and was feeling ready to move forward with filing for divorce, but now I’m unsure. Divorce is emotionally devastating for the whole family, and because of my faith, part of me feels like I should give him the opportunity to change.

I know many people have been through situations like this, and I’d love to hear your experiences. For those who have seen either genuine change or manipulation after a separation, what were the signs? What should I look out for that would suggest, “This is a manipulation tactic,” versus “This is real, lasting change”?