What’s wrong with me?

I’m such a wreck of a boyfriend it’s actually embarrassing.

While my man is at home thinking we’re building something real, I’m out here chasing attention from a Z-list Twitter content creator who wouldn’t even claim me publicly. I cheated anyway. Not because I liked him more — because I’m addicted to validation and chaos.

And the worst part? I still talk to my ex behind my boyfriend’s back too. Late night messages, flirting, reminiscing, keeping old doors cracked open just in case I want to run back through them.

Meanwhile I’m downloading hookup apps every other week pretending it’s “just browsing,” but I’m sexting random guys, arranging meetups, entertaining people I know would disgust my boyfriend if he ever found out.

Nobody even knows we’re dating because I keep him hidden. I act single online, act available, act like I’m still on the market because deep down I love attention more than stability.

And somehow I still keep trying to pull him into my mess — trying to tempt him into getting high, loosening up, crossing boundaries, maybe even group situations he probably wouldn’t even want sober.

He keeps trying to love someone who acts like loyalty is optional. And I keep proving I’m selfish, impulsive, and impossible to fully trust.