Lost and scared after a breakup

I need advice. I come from a really rough and abusive background. Literally since I was born (addicted to drugs and placed in the foster care system) I was placed with a permanent guardian who were abusive to me and my siblings. (Not usually physical but occasionally). 

When I was 23 I meet a man online. We hit it off and talked for 6 months before going to share our birthday in person together. After that he asked me to move to nc to be with him and I did. He’s made so many promises about how I’d never have to go back that abusive home and that his family was mine. 

A couple of weeks ago he told me he didn’t love me anymore but agreed to try. The next week he didn’t even want to do that. The week after that he told me he was having second thoughts about the break up. Now he’s told me that he’s firm and he may still love me but he won’t know until I’m out of our shared house. (It was the house his dad bought for him to live in to go to college and now he’s trying to buy it from him) 

Ive moved twice in under two years and had to find a new job, I recently got a root canal and my savings are depleted. He wants me gone by 6/30 and I’m so scared. I have two options and I’m don’t know the answer both have massive down sides. 

Option one: I stay in nc, I get a second job and go with a slightly affordable apartment but I have nothing. I don’t have hangers, dressers, pots, pans, glasses, plates literally just clothes and few decor I picked up to help make our house a home. 

Option 2: I return to my home state (md) and sleep on my abusive moms couch and try to get a job and save to move into an apartment where I’ll still have to restart my whole life. (This is still an if Shes currently against me coming back but if I beg hard enough she would let me I think)

As all of this is happening I’m devastated. It’s so silly to say this at now 25 but he truly was my first real love and I never thought I’d lose him. My world feels like its collapsing and my chest is so tight I struggle to breathe frequently. I can’t eat, I struggle to sleep and I’m so so exhausted. I feel like every time I crawl my way out of hole I’m pushed into another. I just keep hitting roadblock after roadblock with no end in sight. 

I feel like 25 is too late to restart my life. Due to my background I was never supported or taught how to live alone. I can’t drive, I haven’t gone to college. I’m at the end of my rope and I just want to let go.