My rational part says no my insides scream yes

I (30F) been a fencesitter for all my life. I have a partner of 4 years, we live together and we have talked about having kids a lot. For the last couple of years I was leaning towards the no, almost certain of it, but recently something shifted inside of me and now I DESPERATELY want them lol. I know you could probably think that I made my choice but I have not. There are so many rational things that make me think I should not have them. The bigger one is the actual state of the world. It honestly terrifies me to bring a kid to this world, I think is really selfish and we don’t know how bad it’s going to get. I recently read that we are the ones responsible for educating the future generations to make things right but that’s a really optimistic perspective and I’m not that optimistic.

I’m currently working fulltime and getting a degree, I have a lot of mental health issues due to trauma (I am in therapy) we do not own a house and don’t have the money for it, I don’t think my family would help me (my mom and I don’t talk, I only have my dad, but my partner’s parents would definitely help).
But we do make enough money to have a child and could move in to a family’s house, but I don’t know

I also don’t know if you could consider this fencesitter since my emotions say yes but my rational thinking says no.