AITAH (F23) for rejecting my best friend (M21)?

Hi, I've never done this before so I don't really know how to start, but I'll try to give you all the context. Also, English isn't my first language, so please ignore any grammatical errors.

Well, this friend (let's call him Peter) and I have known each other for 6 years. I was friends with a friend of his, and that friend introduced us (we live in different states and met online because we played the same game). We connected very easily and quickly created a deeper connection where we went from being just friends who played games together to daily conversations and venting about how our lives were going.

Peter told me a lot about his life, his relationship with his parents, his relationship with himself, especially regarding depression, where we had long conversations and I always tried to help him as best I could considering our situation (our schedules often didn't match, taking into account work and home routines).

I've always been someone who has a lot of difficulty opening up because of past issues where, when I opened up to people, my feelings were either completely ignored or minimized. This created a "barrier" and prevented me from opening up to others. Furthermore, past friendships always put me in a position where I wasn't that important to them, or where I was only their friend while I was "useful," and the friendship ended when they no longer needed me. So I have quite a bit of trauma (?) from that.

Peter never even knew about it because, as mentioned before, I can't easily open up to people, even after so much time as a friend. Our friendship isn't as "perfect" as it might sound; for example, we've gone months without talking because we both stopped playing the game in question (though we still occasionally texted each other just to catch up and make sure the other was okay), and even when we talked daily, that conversation plus gaming time lasted around 2 hours a day due to our schedules.

A few months ago we started playing the game again that connected us and that, during those 6 years of friendship, was our main link. After a while, I started having feelings for him, but I never mentioned anything because I was thinking about our current situation (we both live very far apart, I never really opened up to him, and we've been friends for a long time, and I didn't want to lose that). Eventually, the feeling passed, but a few weeks later he confessed his feelings to me, and I rejected him because of the points I mentioned. In the conversation, I made that clear to him (but I didn't mention that I had also liked him for a while). He said it was okay and that he would take some time to get over it.

After a month and a half without any contact, I sent him a message saying I wanted to talk, because after all this time without contacting him, I'd been thinking about everything and I didn't think it was fair that I hadn't been completely honest with him. He said he was at work and would message me as soon as he got off work so we could talk. After a day and a half/two days without a response, I sent him a long message saying everything I felt was bottled up inside me. Right from the start, I apologized for not being completely honest with him the first time we talked and said that I also knew it wasn't fair for me to be opening up now. I continued the message really pointing out everything that made me reject him, which were:

* We live far apart.

*As soon as he confessed his feelings, he asked me to be his girlfriend, which I thought was rushed considering he doesn't really know me (because I'd never opened up to him and whenever we talked, the topics were always about games or silly everyday things).

*I felt like I was walking on eggshells when I talked to him because of his depression and knowing that he relied on me a lot and cared a lot about me.

*I'm an extremely "people-pleaser" and I don't know/can't set boundaries in my friendships because I don't want to disappoint people + the fear of ending up alone/with that friendship.

*Because I accept "being treated any old way," I don't feel emotionally stable enough to be in a relationship.

After sending the message and waiting a few days again, I realized the message was never delivered (it was sent), which confused me. So I checked his other social media to see if he was online and discovered that he had blocked me on absolutely everything. Considering the fact that the message wasn't delivered, in my opinion, he blocked me the day I sent him the message saying I needed to talk to him. He... (No, he didn't sound different in the conversation; he answered me normally, just saying he couldn't talk at that time because of work.)

I commented on this with my friends, who now think I'm a jerk for messaging him when he apparently wasn't ready. I argued with them that if he wasn't ready, he could have just refused to talk to me, which I would totally understand and respect his space. But they still say that not only was I a jerk for messaging him, but also for "opening up" to him, which wasn't right and must have confused him even more. I said that doesn't make sense because the message wasn't even sent, so there's no way he could have read it. They said that maybe he just changed his WhatsApp settings because his picture is still showing up for me, but if that's the case, then I think in a way he's kind of a asshole because he read everything I wrote and still didn't say anything and possibly blocked me.

(Asshole isn't exactly the word I'd use to refer to him at this point, but what I mean is that if he read what I wrote and chose not to say anything at all, he's an "asshole" because this is the first time I've opened up to him, and like the other times I open up and simply get no response or my feelings are minimized in some way, at the end of the message I made it very clear that I miss our friendship and that I was only sending that because I needed closure, whether we eventually become friends again or the friendship ends there, and that I would understand whatever his decision was.)

so Reddit AITAH?