27, contractual software dev, Tier 1 city , on a 90-day streak — but life feels like I'm running in place. Need perspectives from brothers who've been here. Please do read and comment.

Assalamu Alaikum brothers (and non-Muslims welcome too, this is mostly a life situation post).

I'll try to keep this honest and not make it sound like a pity party. Just want real perspectives from people who might have walked a similar path.

Who I am: 27M, based in India . Working as a contractual developer. The pay is below market rate for my skills.(36k-40k inr) Not a permanent position. Approaching 3 years here. To put it simply: I have the skills to be earning 8–12 LPA in a product company, but I'm not there yet. That gap is the root of a lot of what I'm about to say.

The NoFap : I've been on streak for a while now, actively trying to build a 90-day streak. But failing every time. This isn't just willpower for the sake of it — I've noticed a real difference in energy, focus, and how I carry myself when I'm clean. I'm Muslim so there's also the obvious religious angle (lowering the gaze, guarding chastity, not using haram outlets). But I'll be real — part of what's driving the streak is also the absence of intimacy in my life and redirecting that into something productive. I work out 2x a week, gym progress is solid, I'm working toward a better physique. I have goals. But I'm also 27 and unmarried, and that weight sits on you.

The marriage situation: I'm in the arranged marriage process. Arranged setup where the families evaluate. And I've experienced what I think a lot of brothers in my income bracket experience: QUIET REJECTIONS where the financial stability conversation comes up. I'm not earning poorly for my city by general standards, but by the standards of "is this boy settled?" — contractual work,, no owned property (parents have property)— I fall short of what families in the rishta market expect.

I want to get married. I genuinely want a companion — someone grounded, family-oriented, emotionally mature. I'm not chasing a supermodel, I want something real. But I'm in this weird middle zone where I'm not "settled enough" to approach from a position of strength, and yet the biological clock and the emotional longing don't wait for your resume to update.

I've also been carrying a private shame for years — I've never been in a relationship. Not one. At 27, that feels like something you're supposed to hide. I'm not someone who was out here living freely and now wants to settle — I held back, tried to do things the right way, and somehow ended up with nothing to show for the wait either.

Where I'm actually stuck:

• Career: skills are there, execution consistency isn't. I keep deferring the job switch. I know what I need to do but I keep finding ways to delay committing fully.
• Marriage: can't really pursue with full confidence until I fix the above. But that delay compounds the loneliness. I cant even open up to someone i like. They might reject or ghost me.
• The no fap journey: going well but it lives inside a vacuum of unresolved life problems. Easy to white-knuckle it when you have momentum. Hard when you're sitting alone at night wondering when things are going to change.
• Identity: I have a vision of who I want to be. Fit, earning well, spiritually grounded, a husband. I can see that version of myself. The gap between current me and that version is what's eating at me.

What I'm NOT asking for:

• "Just make dua bro" (I am, but I need practical input too)
• Generic "it gets better" motivation
• People telling me 27 is young — I know, but that doesn't make the present feel lighter, how is 27 young? those who got married early or had relationship they tasted the youth the butterflies, when you reach 30 you hair starts getting grey white you try to hide it which makes you chose a less attractive partner thats what i fear.

What I AM asking:

• Brothers who fixed their career situation while also in the middle of urge and no fap struggles — how did you keep both going?
• Anyone who entered the rishta process from a "not yet settled" position — what actually moved the needle for you? Did you wait until you had the job? Or did the process push you to fix the job faster?
• If you carried private shame about inexperience — how did you let that go? Does it matter in a marriage that works?

Not looking for sympathy. Looking for brothers (or anyone) who've stood at this exact crossroads and have something real to say.

JazakAllah Khair.