A complete mess of a situation

TW: infidelity

So there is no way to sugar coat this nor should there even be an attempt to. My ex and I are both married to other people. Whatever negativity you may throw my way, just know I am not blind to it. However, it really felt like this was going to be the happily ever after both of us were looking for in life.

We met on reddit Aug 17 2025. Both just looking for attention and a way to fill a void. Well that grew and turned into a meet after 1.5 months of constantly talking. She did demonstrate a lot of avoidant behaviours early on but I chased. I knew about attachment theory but not nearly enough to call myself an expert. I chased. I pursued. I won her over.

We met, we began a real affair. But it felt different. It felt real. Like I found my person. We made choices. Decisions that would bring us closer to each other. We decided to get off Reddit altogether because we both wanted to feel more secure that way.

We made it 3 months. Shit went sideways. I found out she was still on Reddit posting and talking to others. It was a huge mess, but we reconciled. We continued. I told her I believed she was a fearful avoidant and she agreed to get the help to heal.

For the last month she was very hot and cold, fighting, insulting, disrespecting. Just someone who I honestly did not even recognize. I was already in the process of having a separation agreement drafted up. She was going to use my lawyer to draft hers up but needed help with the $. She told me she would pay me back once her house sells. Np. Even if she didn’t pay me back it’s ok. We’re together anyways right? But there was something unrelated that started bothering me. She would get upset if I spent even a little time with my “ex wife” but meanwhile, she admitted to sleeping with her “ex-husband” in January and has been taking their kids to community events for two weekends straight. Not a big deal if she does but the hypocrisy was very evident. I called her out on it and she took it as I was backing out from paying the lawyer. I tried to explain but she didn’t care.

She would make up stories in her head and used whatever evidence she could to support that story. Try to twist unrelated things into things they weren’t.

Since January, after seeing her posting on Reddit, I was so paranoid that she was lying to me. So I began posting, pretending to be something or someone else just to see if she would respond. And there was one instance in March where I was so sure it was her but I confronted her before I could confirm it was her. I dropped it after that. Well fast forward to May, I began feeling uneasy again. So I posted. This led to her confronting me about laying traps. Well, if she knew I was posting laying a trap, well she would have had to be on Reddit to have seen them.

Well, we both admitted to have been on here. I truly was on here to find her and she claims the same but Ive already spoken to someone who confirmed to have spoken to someone who fits the description that i told him. So who knows what the truth is. All I know is her IG followers went from 1 to 2. The 1 being her realtor. The 2nd used to be me but she blocked me. So who is the 2nd follower? Idk.

All i know is I need to heal but fuck I miss her so much.