I’m obsessed with a girl from 3 years ago while being in a relationship

I’m (18M) in love with a girl who I don’t know. Her name is Kat(18F), I spoke to her first month of 11th grade and I’ve been so in love with her ever since. She’s all I think about, she’s all I talk about. But that was 3 years ago. We talked in September and ended in October of 2023. God damn do I still think about her. I’m in uni now, she goes to our home town uni, and I go to a 40 minute away uni. I have a gf(18F), she’s great, kind sweet, loves me. But I still can’t get nat out of my head. Everyday I wish I had a Time Machine so I could go back and be with her. She’s all I ever wanted. Lately my thoughts have been leaving my gf and trying to talk to kat again. I’m obsessed with her.

Context about Kat. We talked from September to October in our 11th grade year. I think she liked me during this period. She said her friend started to like me and I thought she was setting me up with her friend, so I tried that out me, her friend wanted to fuck me and I got scared and ran away from her and I did spill it to everyone by accident because I was venting to so many people. me and nat didn’t talk anymore and then on the day before Christmas I gave her a gift, she lied and said she had a boyfriend. And then we continued to never speak again. I don’t think she likes me anymore and finds me annoying. I’m obsessed with her tho. She’s all I think about and dream of. She’s all I ever wanted. I’ve dated other girls to get over her, but I cannot stop thinking about her. She’s so cute, she’s so perfect. But at last I’m not perfect. Maybe if I had a do over. Another chance, lately in the past 3 years I haven’t had a day where I’m not thinking about
Her.

I have a girlfriend now. She’s everything a man could want, but she’s not Kat to me. I don’t know what to feel or what to do, we have been dating for 9 months and I still think about Kat everyday. The thing about Kat is I don’t know her, I don’t remember anything about her, she’s just this dream of happiness that floats through my head. She makes me feel like a kid wanting the purple skull trooper from Fortnite. Maybe I want her because I can’t have her anymore. Maybe I want her because I think she would make me happy m, maybe I want her so I don’t feel like such a fuck up. She was in my life at the perfect time and the perfect time of person, everyday I regret not having her, going for her, talking to her, I just want to talk to her, she’s never reached out but she’s always replied when I reached out, but she was the one to kill the conversation. all I think about is Kat Kat Kat. She’s the only thing on my mind always. I feel so bad for my girlfriend because I’m just using her to get over Kat. And I’m still not over Kat. It’s been 3 years almost 4 when do I get over this girl. Should I leave my girlfriend so I can message Kat? And try to talk to her. What if Kat rejects me, I think Kat hates me. I would hate me too. Everyday I wish for. A Time Machine to go back to that perfect month and continue that streak of life. I know I’m not in love, I’m obsessed.

I got into smoked and drinking so that I could day dream about bejng with Kat would be like. And also because I’ll never be with Kat. And it just feels good. My gf did help me stop smoking tho. But I’m drunk rn, just thinking about Kat. I need Kat, I want Kat. Or do I just want Kat because she’s rare and I’ll never be able to have her. Like the rare skins in Fortnite.

What do I ? Do I break up? How do I forget about Kat?

**TL;DR;** : in love with a girl who doesn’t even know me, while being in a relationship