Is it okay to experiment?

I guess that’s a dumb question. Of course you will say yes. I’ve always thought I was straight but now I’m realizing that’s just the “default” I thought was expected of me. To get married, have kids, etc. But I’m realizing I think I might be into guys.

I’m not sure what I want though. The idea of penetration (giving or receiving) does not interest me at all. I kinda just want to hug a guy and cuddle with him and spoon with him.

If things go well I’d be open to some touching. I think I’d like to try jerking off another guy and having it done to me. Just touching and playing with a penis and see how I like it. I’m excited about the idea of it but just unsure how I’d feel in real life.

Is this okay as long as I’m upfront with the guy? I don’t want to lead anyone on or string them along. I’m also worried they may think they can “convince” me to go farther and do more in the moment and I don’t want to be pressured to go too far. I don’t want to get hurt emotionally or hurt them either but I guess that’s just a chance we take.

Maybe it sounds immature but I literally just want to be held by a strong but gentle guy and play with a penis. Pretty sure that makes me gay.