Please help with anal play and lubes!

I have a problem with every single water based lube I have ever tried, i get this burning feeling and its extremly uncomfortable. Im not too experienced with anal but i would like to do it more often, im in my mid twenties if that matters. In order to play with toys i usually use oil based boybutter lube but oil based lube is not compatible with condoms right? Is it safe to play with toys before anal sex and than just switch lube to silicon based? Or is there any extremely safe water based lube i can use? Im so desperate please help!!