Seven years later, the same guy rejected me again and it hurts more than the first time

When I was 18, I fell in love with a boy I never expected to love.
The weirdest part is that I used to hate his guts. Then one day something shifted. I started missing him when he wasn't around. I looked forward to seeing him. Eventually I realized I had a crush on him.
People told me he liked me too.
But there was another girl.
She went to a different school, and he was completely fixated on her. Looking back, "crush" doesn't even feel like the right word. He was obsessed. He talked about her constantly and chased after her for a long time.
Despite knowing that, I confessed my feelings. To my surprise, he liked me back. We started talking and for a brief moment I thought maybe something good was finally happening.
Then, after a few days, he told me he couldn't forget the other girl and wanted to end things.
I agreed because what else could I do?
But it scarred me in ways I didn't understand at the time. I became obsessed with comparing myself to this girl I'd barely even met. I felt ugly. Less valuable. Less chosen. Like I had lost a competition I never signed up for.
Eventually, I moved on. I cut him out of my life completely. We didn't speak for seven years.
Life happened. I had relationships. I fell in love with other people. I genuinely thought I was over him.
Then I went through a breakup with my long-term boyfriend.
Not long after, this guy texted me out of nowhere.
We started talking as friends, catching up on seven years of life. But somewhere along the way, old feelings started resurfacing. He brought up meeting in person. I said yes. He jokingly suggested we should date. Somehow the conversation turned into a real discussion about dating.
We even planned a date.
Then he started pulling away.
Excuses. Delays. Mixed signals.
After another week of talking, I finally asked him directly how he felt.
His answer was: "I like you, but I'm not into you. I don't act like this when I'm into someone."
And just like that, it felt like I was 18 years old again.
It's hard to explain why it hurts so much. I've been rejected before. I've had relationships end before. But there is something uniquely painful about being rejected twice by the same person, seven years apart.
It's like he reopened a wound I spent years healing.
The words "I'm not into you" keep replaying in my head. Rationally, I know his feelings don't define my worth. I know attraction isn't something people can force.
But emotionally, it feels like confirmation of every insecurity that first heartbreak gave me.
I hate that after all these years, one sentence from him still has the power to make me question myself.
I just needed to get this off my chest.