Bedtime fading + night weaning + sleeping in our bed

A couple of months ago our 20 month old was bedtime/night weaned and sleeping all night in her crib. She was still being rocked to sleep (usually 15-30 minutes) but that was working for us. Fast forward to now after a couple of trips and illness and she is back to nursing to sleep and sleeping all night in our bed. Added to this she will. not. go. down. We've moved bedtime earlier and later and we can't seem to figure out the sweet spot. Last night we started bedtime routine at 7 with bed at 7:30 and she didn't fall asleep until 10ish. We have established a good bedtime routine (I think) of bath, books, and teeth but that doesn't seem to help.

After some research I think what we need to do is bedtime fading to get her to fall asleep faster. But we also need to wean the bedtime nursing and get her back in her crib. What order do we work on these in? I think I can combine bedtime fading and weaning, but then what about her crib? She has never gone down independently without at least rocking so I think she will freak. Do we do them all at once and no one sleeps for a few days? We are so averse to hearing her cry which is why the bedtime fading appealed to us.

I know we are in this pickle because we weren't consistent. It's definitely on us and I feel guilty because we haven't given her the tools she needs to get good rest. If it helps, we normally start the day 6:30-7:00am and she takes one nap at daycare 12:00-2:00pm. She usually seems ready for a nap earlier in the day on weekends and we let her, so that probably contributes to the problem.

Everything says toddlers should go to bed early but I also am wondering if we are expecting too much sleep from her. We would be willing to start the day earlier if she would go to sleep before 10! Please help! We are so lost.