27F, been with my boyfriend (27M) for 3 years. My parents want me to marry someone else and threaten to disown me if I don't.

I (27F) feel completely stuck between my family, my relationship, and my future, and I don't know what to do anymore.

I've been job hunting in the US for almost 2 years and I'm currently not financially independent. I also have a boyfriend in Canada whom I've been serious about for over 3 years. He has been very helpful, patient and kind with me.

The problem is that my parents do not approve of him and want me to marry a guy they found through an arranged marriage setup. My mom has told me that if I marry my boyfriend, then my parents will basically no longer exist for me. What hurts even more is that she used to tell me that I could marry whoever I wanted as long as I was happy.

Recently, during an argument, she also said that if a wife is disrespectful ("badtameez"), then it's understandable for a husband to hit her. Hearing that shocked me because I don't believe there is any justification for domestic violence.

My dad is also extremely controlling. He doesn't really let me make decisions on my own, and whenever I try, he yells at me over the phone. He constantly tells me that I'm the reason I haven't been able to find a job.

The stress from all of this has become overwhelming. I've been crying almost every day for weeks. My relationship with my boyfriend has suffered because I'm constantly stressed and emotionally drained. I can't focus on job applications, upskilling, or planning my future because I feel trapped.

Part of me feels guilty for wanting to make my own choices, but another part of me feels angry because I'm 27 years old and still feel like I don't have control over my own life.

For people who have dealt with controlling parents, threats of being disowned, or conflicts between family expectations and your own choices, how did you handle it? How did you build the confidence and independence to make decisions for yourself, especially when you weren't financially independent yet?

Any advice would be appreciated.