AA1967 PHX > EWR

Dear AA,

I am a masochist, thus I maintain my EP status. In truth I have no choice, I reside in one of your hubs, having moved here from another. I long for my 20+ years of NYC metro residency and Delta Platinum/Diamond status.

Thank you for the WiFi free solitude, following our takeoff sauna. It has allowed me to deeply contemplate my existence without this distraction of related communication. Don’t let me detract from the applause you’ve given yourself, after leaving 30 minutes late, and targeting a midnight on-time arrival. No one wanted those 30 minutes on the ground early. We are too enveloped in this WiFi free cocoon of varying temperatures to want off.

To the woman to my left - and thank you Gods of The Skies, across the empty seat between us - you claim to fly 3 to 4 times a week. We share a status, which likely confirms your flying boast. Why then would you chow down on Teriyaki beef jerky immediately after takeoff and spend the flight using voice to text? I can’t think of a more vile smell. (I’m certain others will volunteer options.)

To the person behind me - thanks for the knees in my back. Your frequent adjustment is the massage in needed on this long flight. In the future humanity will evolve to where it recognizes that seat backs, are actually another’s seat back.

Until I grow wings of my own, thank you AA.

Your Loyal PayPig (I know, mixing bdsm genres)

[Note: Flight in progress. WiFi restored. No related communication.]